The following sample questions are designed to be used as guidelines to identifying possible signposts of sex and love addiction. They are not intended to provide a sure-fire method of diagnosis, nor can negative answers to these questions provide absolute assurance that the illness is not present. Many sex and love addicts have varying patterns which can result in very different ways of approaching and answering these questions. Despite this fact, we have found that short, to-the-point questions have often provided as effective a tool for self-diagnosis as have lengthy explanations of what sex and love addiction is. We appreciate that the diagnosis of sex and love addiction is a matter that needs to be both very serious and very private. We hope that these questions will prove helpful.
1. Do you feel that you don't want anyone to know about your sexual or romantic activities?
2. Do you find yourself needing greater and greater variety and energy in your sexual or romantic activities just to achieve an "acceptable" level of physical and emotional relief?
3. Does your sexual and/or romantic behavior affect your reputation?
4. Have you ever threatened your financial stability or standing in the community by pursuing a sexual partner?
5. Have you had sex at inappropriate times, in inappropriate places, and/or with inappropriate people?
6. Have you or do you have sex regardless of the consequences (e.g., the threat of being caught, the risk of contracting herpes, gonorrhea, AIDS, etc.)?
7. Do you find yourself unable to stop seeing a specific person even though you know that seeing this person is destructive to you?
8. Have you lost count of the number of sexual partners you've had?
9. Do you feel uncomfortable about your masturbation because of the frequency with which you masturbate, the fantasies you engage in, the props you use, and/or the places in which you do it?
10. Have you ever had a serious relationship threatened or destroyed because of outside sexual activity?
11. Do you engage in the practice of voyeurism, exhibitionism, etc. in ways that bring discomfort and pain?
12. Do you feel that you lack dignity and wholeness?
Excerpted from © 1985 SLAA 40 Questions for Self-Diagnosis (<click to download PDF)
